Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Forecast for tomorrow: a few sprinkles of genius with A CHANCE OF DOOM!

Do you believe in Horoscopes?
Do you check out the newspaper every day, get it in your e-mail, or look it up online?
I'm part of the first group of people. Fan of the newspaper horoscope. I'm not a huge believer, but sometimes it's nice to see something out there that is completely random.
Why do I say it's random?
Because if it wasn't, every newspaper, website and crystal ball would say the same thing for one person every day, no matter where you looked it up. You can have a newspaper article say that it's going to be the best day of your life, and then another one says "Don't go outside." Now unless you stay inside and have an orgy with some supermodels, one of these horoscopes is wrong. Whose fault is it? Who do we blame? What if the person who has been publishing your horoscope is a complete ass? What then?
It's the reason why psychics never win the lottery. Because when it comes down to it, we are on a ball of mud, spinning through the cosmos, without rhyme or reason, under no control whatsoever.
If you can predict what kind of day I'm going to have, you can pick the lotto numbers, or the stock market, or start betting on the ponies or sporting events. Do the gods not let you use your gift for profit? Give half to charity. How come you never hear of an operator on the psychic friends network hitting it big? Did they not look in to their future and see that they'll be on the phone all day?
Whatever it is that's out there, be it God, gods, aliens or who knows what, they have little or no influence on what's happening in my life, and if they did, you know they aint telling some schmuck so he can publish it in time for the morning edition.

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