Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Coffin Nails

It's been 3 years since I had a cigarette.

That's a lie.

It's been 3 years since I smoked regularly, I have had the occasional puff while I was loaded, but never did pick up the habit again.

So why am I talking about this?

As I mentioned here, I'm working in the more "rural" area of town now. Out here, everybody smokes. Guys smoke, girls smoke, teachers smoke, doctors smoke. Hell, I swear I saw a toddler bumming a light from a kid in a stroller. It's like the neighborhood pastime out here. That and playing hide the salami with your next-of-kin.

But the thing that bugs me the most is the smell.
Now just to clarify, not all smokers smell. But the ones who do, reek like they took a shit, wiped their ass with a tobacco leaf, rolled that leaf, smoked it, and kept the ashes in their coat pocket.
It's enough to make you want to slap them.

When I smoked, I was very aware of the odor. I chewed gum, ('cause I deal with the public, and the ladies like the minty-fresh breath) washed my clothes, and if I did smoke in the car, which was rarely, I rolled the window down. I was a clean smoker, not like some of the smelly dirtbags I've seen recently.

But you know what? Sometimes, deep down, at my very core ( right next to where I keep the desire to tag these two,) I really want to smoke again. I miss it. I used to love smoking. The taste, the nicotine high, the social aspect of it, all of the little bits and pieces ( like bronchi) that make up the average smoker.

Would I? Probably not. With a kid already and another on the way, I'm not worried about my health as much as theirs. But I'm the type of guy who said he'd never download movies. ( See previous post.) If my stress level reaches it's maximum, who knows what will happen.

Like a ticking time bomb, we'll just have to wait and see.....

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