Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Face Forward.

I went and got my Passport picture taken today.

I've never had a passport before - last time I  travelled across the border to our neighbors down south, all you needed was a driver's licence and the secret word to get back into Canada. (Hint: it was "Poutine").

It's not that we are planning on going anywhere immediately, but the Wife wants to have them because they are needed to travel anywhere nowadays, and I'm thinking she believes the minute we have them, we'll hopefully win a trip somewhere.

I'd like to have it just because I have a secret fear of someone on a train coming up to me and saying "Papers please." ...and I've got nothing. Plus I think it would be cool to treat it like a badge and pretend I'm a Federal Agent or a Bounty Hunter.

..Now that I think about it, I can't imagine why I've been putting it off for so long.

So as I sat down in the chair to get my picture done, the lady informed me they'll take a couple of shots just to make sure I'm not smiling in them. (Being Canadian, the urge to smile in photos is right up there with holding doors open for strangers - an excellent trait that freaks the tourists out all the time.)

I can understand them wanting a straight picture of my face, but wouldn't having some other shots in the back of the passport help whomever I'm dealing with if and when I cross the border?

Some thoughts on pictures I think might work:

- Drunk Me : Depending on the length of the flight and who my traveling partner is, this could possibly be a real occurrence. Not only would my facial expression look different, I probably won't be wearing any pants.
- Tired Me : Put this one in there for when I'm travelling with the kids. Lack of sleep from packing, driving, and just the  general stress that is a family vacation will have me looking dog tired. As a subset, there could also be "haggard" me, "exhausted" me, and "tired of the kid's shit" me.
- Angry Me : Maybe change this one to "Annoyed". After waiting in a line for hours at the border, or having to deal with airport security, I'm sure this is the expression I'll be sporting as I go through the border.
- Nervous Me : This one should be there because I have the type of friends who think it would be arouse to put a minute amount of weed or something in my luggage. Not enough to get me arrested or anything, but enough that I might get a cavity search out of it.

I'm sure having these additional photos for reference would assist any border guard in determining I am who I say I am.

Now I just have to wait for my neutral-expression photo to meet Canadian standards for being boring and un-exciting, and I'm set.


P.s.- The lady made a comment that "You even shaved." before she took my picture (I was going to work right after) - I'm not sure why she would be amazed - wouldn't looking Lulemon a dirty hippie in my passport photo earn me extra attention at the border?.


  1. No, seriously: I think you've finally grown accustomed to Dog.

  2. All good choices.... my passport picture is of "hungover me" and it is awful.... and often mistaken for "inmate me"