Thursday, April 05, 2012

Bone of Contention

Dear Non-Running Customer:

I appreciate that you are complementing me on my running and saying how "in shape" I look. As I gloomily approach 40 (51 days- but who's counting), I'll take any positives about my appearance or form.

I also like that you show an interest in how I'm doing in my races, and have made it a point to ask every time you see me. There are, however, just a couple of things I'd like to point out that will prevent me from stabbing you in the eye the next time we speak:

- Not every race is a "Marathon", ok? There are other distances out there that people run. If you aren't sure, just ask how the "race" was - I'm pretty sure I'll be able to figure out what you're talking about.

- Asking how my "Marathon" was after I've made it clear what distance I did run is kind of insulting. And ignorant. And rude. But I digress.... It's not that insulting to me, but you are downplaying the blood, sweat, and tears that every person who trains for and runs the 26.2 has put in. Did I train for my race? Yes. Am I going through the mental and physical preparation that the average marathoner does? Not even close. There's a huge fucking difference.

- I realize as I talk to you that you have no concept of distance at all. Why don't you go for a drive in your car, look at the odometer for 15km and then come back and tell me what you thought of that distance. Then you can comprehend the length and maybe actually appreciate the time it took to run it.

Once again, I really like that you are inquiring about how I am doing, but it would just be best for both of us if you could take some of this advice before I'm compelled to take my pen out an use it as a weapon.

I do run trails, and I've seen some nifty places to stash a body...

Just sayin'.


1 comment:

  1. I liked this. And I can totally relate. There are many people out there that do not get the difference between a triathlon and a marathon. And I even had a friend who told me he did a marathon once, but really struggled on the swim. Um....

    I can rationalize confusion between biathlons and duathlons ...

    Good luck on not stabbing someone in the eye.