Thursday, April 10, 2008

Uncomfortable Reading.

As my Weight-Loss contest is ending soon, I'm looking for new routines and workouts to try after it's all over. (Variety is the spice of life, right?) To that extent, I've been reviewing some of the fitness magazines we have at work - they seem to be full of information and tips.

Some of them, well - lets just say I'm not sure of which audience or demographic they are catering to.

I usually read Men's Health. It's got a little bit of everything, and seems to be the standard. I think (thought) that most of the other magazines would be like that as well.

I was wrong.

Take the magazine to your right -> Sure, it's got a ripped guy with his shirt off on the cover, but it is a fitness magazine, so why not?
But then you look inside.

Inside it gets a little weird right away. All of the guys in the magazine: the ads, the exercise instructions, the articles, even the guy writing editorials are all shirtless, buff, and wearing those ball-hugger boy shorts. It looks more like I'm flipping through a gay man's stroke catalog than an workout magazine.

I was prepared to chalk it up to a publisher who thought he could maybe get some gay fitness customers as well as regular readers, but then I flipped to the back page. The back page had a cowboy type guy in a horse trough, having a bubble bath.

That's just a bit much - even for me.

They say that becoming healthy is a lifestyle change. I thought they meant diet and routine - not sexuality. If that's what it's going to take, I'll live with a bit of a paunch and just tell people it's the gas tank for my sex machine. My hetro sex machine.

I'll stick with the Men's Health - all the guys are fully clothed, and I don't feel funny when it says I should "feel the burn in my Glutes."

Oh, by the way - I never looked anyone in the eye when I put that magazine back, either. I would hate to look at the guy next to me at the rack and have him give me a knowing wink. (Ewwww)


1 comment:

  1. This ain't a library, son. You gonna BUY that mag?!?

    My buddy EdeO reads men's health. I remember him saying something similar about the workout mags, though.

    That's why I stick to Skank and to Modern Ho magazine. Well, not /stick/ to; just read. For the articles. On hos.