Monday, April 11, 2011

Friends of Friends

The types of people who occupy my "News Feed" on Facebook.

- The "Inspirational Quoter" - forget a regular status update, I'll give you quotes from anyone I can think of, from Gandhi to Judas Priest to Mister Rogers.

- The "12-stepper" - Every post is "onward and upwards" and the glory of the little things in life. (As they see it, anyways.)

- The "Prego" - I get it - I understand the wonder of childbirth, and I know you do too, since it is your third kid - so quit posting "My Baby @ 3,4,however many weeks".

- The "Self Promoter" - started out like a regular person, now all updates are only about their home-based know, the third one they've had this year..

- The "Sport Parent" - doesn't talk about themselves at all - every word is about whatever tournament, competition, or game their child or children are currently in. Weekends are especially painful, as you get constant updates on the score.

- The "Permanent Vacationer" - Always seems to be somewhere exotic or far away, either scaling mountains or swimming with dolphins. (Main issue with this one is containing my own jealousy.)

- The "Copy & Paster" - every update is a question or statement that they want you to reply to, followed by a request to copy and paste the same thing into your status - kinda like spam that's trying to be cute.

The - "Constant Updater" - Tells you everything that is happening moment by moment. From meals to tv shows to bathroom breaks, you are privy to it all.

- The "Die Hard" - Predicts their favorite team to win it all, relates national news to how their team is doing. " The Liberal Party's platform is almost as sad as the Hab's power play percentage."

And lastly:

- The "I spend too much time on Facebook-er." - Instead of bitching and commenting on your addiction, have you ever just thought of clicking the little red "x" in the corner amd walking away? Didn't think so.

Yes people, these are my friends, relatives, and acquaintances...
Wouldn't trade 'em for the world.


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