Thursday, March 05, 2009

Fuck All Music Channels.

Fuck You, MTV.

Fuck You MTV2, Much Music, Much More Music, and any other music channels that I may have missed.

You used to be good for something. Something like, I dunno - music maybe?

There was a time, many moons ago, when I enjoyed having your channel on in the background - I'd hear the tunes I liked, see some outlandish shit that used to pass for videos in days gone by, and just once in a while, you'd show me something new.

I'd like to thank you for introducing me to the Foo Fighters and the Trews - I still remember the first time I saw "Big Me" and "Tired of Waiting".

But for everything else, you can suck my balls.

Why is it that the only time I ever see any actual music on your channel is when it's Video on Trial? How sad is that? I have to wait for a show with semi-funny comics and gay guys to see 45 second snippets of videos.

And to see that, I have to wade through seven hours of "I'm-a-D-list-celeb-who's-fat/addicted/drunk/socially awkward/train-wreck-who-wants-six-more-minutes-of-fame." Once you see Verne Troyer piss in a corner, you just don't want to see T.V. anymore.

How sad is it that I look enviously at a country music channel, just because they play music and not the same reality shit all the time? (By the way, that's the only time I ever look enviously at a country channel.)

Clean up your act, it's just depressing.

I've turned away from you now, to the digital stations on my cable box, and to HDNet concerts on Sundays. (I'm even willing to watch some MMA and movie trailer shows if it gets me repeat showings of Skin & Bones.) You may lure me back, but it'll take the television equivalent of a lapdance and blowjob just to get my attention again.

And then you'll have to wow me.


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