Friday, July 29, 2011

Swinging My Stick.

I got a chance to go out golfing the other day.

It's been over a year since I last golfed, and I jumped at the chance to go with some of the guys from work when it was offered.

Here's some of the things I noticed after being away from the links for a year:

- My game is still pretty much the same - shitty. I lose more balls than a group of lepers at a men's club.

- Used to be that beer cart girls were about a 10 or 11 - the economy must be killing the course, 'cause ours rated about a 4. Buck teeth, acne, and a voice like a screeching owl did make me want to drink more to dull the pain, so maybe their plan worked...

- The best part of being out is enjoying the pristine beauty of nature - and tearing it up doing donuts in the cart.

- Next to Poker, golf is the only game when you can openly and immediately mock your friend's performance. Out-driving another guy is almost as sweet as taking their money.

- Golf is one of the only sports where no one understands why you laughed because a guy is wearing a sunvisor.

- If I sold one of my children, I could almost afford a membership at the local course. (He's a ginger, so I wouldn't get much.)

- Beer just tastes better on the course.

All in all, I had a great time, and realized how much I miss getting out on a regular basis. (I miss the game too, not just the drinking.) The Sidekick and I used to go hit the links quite a bit - it was a pleasure to text him and rub it in when I was out this time.

His envious replies were almost as satisfactory as sinking a putt. (Almost.)


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