Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ass Crack Heaven.

What do most bowlers have against belts?

Last night was a nightmare.

I was at bowling, (cool, I know) and for some reason, everywhere I turned, there was man-ass hanging out. I'm not talking good lookling man-ass either - this shit was like a bad acid trip.

I swear to God one guy had so much hair I thought he had his sweater tucked in his pants.

It was like some kind of natural disaster - you just stared at it in horror.

The weird thing is all these ass-crackers are also the guys who do the big, sweeping throws with lots of leg movement - by the end of the swing, their belly's hanging out the front, and they're giving the vertical smile to everyone behind them.

I had no appetite at all last night. I didn't think I'd be able to hold anything down.

I'd like to get all these guys on one team - (and hopefully they would be sponsored by a belt & suspender company) that way I only have to see them once every ten weeks - I could at least prepare, or better yet, sit that week out.

Next to that, there's not much I can do.

Next week I'm going to try blinders - hopefully that will prevent some of the peripheral ass-cleavage from making me ill.

Wish me luck.


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