Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Nobody Takes Pride in Their Work Anymore.

I'm very disappointed with a group of people who live around where I work.

It's hard to pinpoint anything in particular, but it just seems like they aren't doing their job with any enthusiasm or pride anymore.

Of course, I'm talking about our local shoplifters.

If they are going to steal things, you'd think they would do a better job and actually finish what they start.

In the past week, I've found:

- A box of granola bars with one bar stolen.
- A six-pack of mini-cans with one can gone.
- A single roll of toilet paper taken from a pack.
- Two hot dogs stolen out of a pack of 12.

It just seems lazy.

"I really want to steal these hot dogs, but taking all 12 is just SO much work." I almost feel bad for them.

Of course, it may not be that they are lazy - they could just be stupid* - it probably takes more effort and risk to open the package and steal one thing than it does to steal the whole thing. (Okay, maybe not the toilet paper - that shit comes in HUGE packages.)

I think if they just took a bit more time, they'd do a much better job. They may even not get caught, and possibly move on to bigger and better stores than ours and steal some really good shit.

If they are reading this, I wish them the best of luck.**


*like shoplifting isn't stupid enough.

** and by best of luck, I mean if I catch you fuckers I'm going to have to hang back from shanking your thieving asses.


  1. I seriously need you to read Super Rich. :)

    1. I've read Richie Rich - is it the same thing?

      That kid had a gold fucking house - it almost made up for looking like Casper with hair....

  2. I agree shoplifting is stupid enough...I don't get people taking only one of something. Maybe they take one and use it in the store and aren't really stealing it...I mean they are but they aren't shoving it in their pants and walking out.

  3. LOL...shopping makes you hungry and you can't really expect someone to exist somewhere without toilet paper do you?