Tuesday, June 14, 2005

What's Your Kryptonite?

Of course the Uber-geeks who read this know what I'm talking about. What is that one thing that is your complete and utter weakness? And if left unfettered could lead you to your doom?
Now there is different types of Kryptonite, for those of you who have not read an old Superman comic, there was Red Kryptonite, Green, Gold, Blue..Etc. So I believe that there can be different types of Kryptonite for us as well. I will list some of my own, just don't let the list fall into the wrong hands..

  • Women - Of course this is most guys #1 pick, and I'm no exception. It's a weakness that you can't control or explain, and it causes you to do and say things you could never imagine. Doesn't matter if you have one, you want more, and therein lies the problem, the catastrophe waiting to happen, that can tear your life and mind apart. I'm not sure what color this Kryptonite is, but it's the crack like substance (no pun intended) that would knock ol' Supes on his ass and leave him beggin' for more.
  • Pastry - Yeah I know, after going on with the big dramatic women speech, I'm talkin' about pastry? Come on, you know what I mean. Be it danish, long johns, cinnamon buns, whatever, If it's light and flaky and covered in some form of sugar, I'm all over it like a fat man on a donut... Bad example. Those sweet little confectionery have blown many a diet for me.
  • Smokes - I have not had a cigarette in over three years, not counting when I was really drunk on Joey's birthday. But damn I miss it. Like a wino misses screwin' off the top on a fine chardonnay, I miss smoking. It was such a big part of me for so many years, and I'm not talking about a tumor in my lung. I loved to smoke. I knew it was bad for me, the taste was not all that great, and I had to smoke a pack a day to get that "first cig" buzz that you have only once and then chase for the rest of your life. But smoking was always there for me. Had a bad day? Go have a smoke and you'll feel better. Mad? Have a smoke while you cool off. Want to impress that chick? Flick out your zippo and show her your Andrew Dice Clay impression. Smoking was not an addiction, smoking was my friend.

I know there's more, but I'm too sick of analyzing myself to think of them.

So what does it for you.? What's that chink in the everyday armor you cast around yourself? Bad music? Horrible addiction to porn? ( now what's horrible about that?) Just can't get enough of Boy Meets World? Let me know.


  1. i also subscribe to the theroy of many forms of kryptonite, and i FIRMLY belive that women are the biggest form of weakness for all men and male creatures. And your right you could be a 35 year old virgin livin in your moms trailer home,or a mad playa pimp and you will still do anything to be around with or in somecases in a girl..those rascally women. Thank god more of them dont know just how much power they yeild. If you dont belive me, and uber geeks this is amied at you, ask Anakin. As to other forms of weaknesses well i would have to say anykind of CD\DVD outlet be it a big box store like a futershop or best buy or a small mom and pop operation like Deja Vu Discs (shout out to the 'shwa). I think the other big one...not including alchohl cause thats a whole other sorted affair.. would have to be a tie between golf and bookstores. Cause ill golf with anybody. Hitler could call me up and say hey wanna hit the links im sure i would say yes..and a chapters can not go past coffee and books what more could you ask for...mmmm coffeee...damn theres another one. GOD damn it to many vices not enogh time. And just to clear something up. yes bookstores and futershop are my vices but i am not the 35 year old virgin liven in the trailer with his mom ok!.

  2. Watch me chime in, here.

    1) Chicks. Oh yeah, of course. Especially Laetitia and Milla. And Her, but that goes with or without saying.

    2) Drake's Coffee Cakes. Holy Fucking Christ. I would give my left fucking arm for one of those, some days. I have Famous Amos in my email address book, but the Coffee Cakes I can't resist.

    3) I've got the most impressive porn collection. I'm so deviant, man, I could give Michael Jackson tips.

    4) Anger. But we've all seen that. You wouldn't like to see me when I'm angry.

    I think everything else rather falls in line for that - it's caused originally by one of the above .. or a dare. Okay, the nude streaking thing was on booze, but I'm not counting it. I've never taken drugs or a drag, and booze is 'meh', so my kryptonite's probably tame by comparison.

    Now lemme go surf more porn.