Here's some of mine.
- Magazine Publishers - How many different issues of the same type of magazine are you going to put out? For every Maxim, there's like 3 or 4 shitty rags like Details or Giant. What the fuck is the point? And it used to be that men's magazines used to contain articles, or at least really good pictures (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). But now there are more ads than articles, and most of the ads are slightly homo-erotic, in a metro kinda way. Look, if Ralph Lauren wants me to buy a pair of his pants, he should just have a picture of the fuckin' pants for Christ's sake.
- Fat Women in Tight Clothes - Jesus this shit sickens me. Listen, I'm a slightly tubby guy, and yet I wear clothes that tend to flatter the more rotund parts of my body. What woman can cram herself into clothing that is 3 sizes too small, look at herself in the mirror and not notice that the fabric of her blouse is streching at the seams or that if she exhales, the button on her jeans is likely to blow off and cause serious collateral damage?
- Joe's Hatred of Bono - Man, you'd think that Bono molested Joe when he was younger. I think you'll see Dana hugging Dubya before you see Joe forgive Bono for his supposed crimes against humanity.
- Calculus - Don't try to explain it. Just tell me it's magic and I'll go with that.
- Homeless People - Now I might go to hell for this, but how exactly do you become homeless? With the amount of aid our government gives to the disadvantaged, I find it hard to believe that someone can be homeless in this day and age. Sure, welfare sucks, but use it to get back on your feet, get a job, and get a life. If you choose to blow that chance on crystal meth or the big H, too bad. Nobody forced you to take those drugs.
- People who don't own a DVD player - Bad choice after just dissing the Homeless, but really, it's 2005, people. It's a standard media format. The average player costs, what, around 60 bucks? How can you not have one? Get with the program.
Right now that's all I can think of. What baffles you?