Defeetist Attitude.

I'm at a loss for what to put on my feet.

You see, for years I only had two pairs of shoes: The ones I wore to work, and some sneakers I wore with everything else. No sandals or flip-flops for me - I wouldn't wear shorts unless I had to, so my summertime footwear was the same as my wintertime stuff.

But it's all changed now.

Since I started the whole gym/running thing, I've really become accustomed to wearing shorts. I'll wear shorts all day long now - if you'd let me. (With legs like mine, why not show them off?) I'm even hoping I can get away with shorts on a casual day at work - so you can see how the insanity has spread.

But when wearing "dressier" shorts, instead of gym ones, I realize that my choice of footwear really is - for lack of a better word - shitty. Scuffed sneakers just don't jive with the kakhi shorts.

So I'm looking to upgrade, and there's 3 ways I think I can go:

• The Boat Shoe: Looks good, comfortable, and classy. I actually used to wear this with jeans and a popped-collar polo shirt circa '87... which kinda scares me now.
• Flip Flops: I'd like to try flip flops, I really would - but my only problems are 1) I hate having something shoved in between my toes, and 2) can you run after a 3yr old in flip flops?
• Mocs: I like the look of these, and I've heard they are comfortable. But would they look good in shorts? And if I'm not wearing socks, would everything just get funky?

I'm at a crossroads in my decision making process. I'm not in a hurry - I've looked like a shlub for so long I don't think a couple of weeks more will make a difference - but I do want something I can break in and use before summer's over.

Please don't say Crocs - they are the most retarded thing to hit peoples feet in years. I don't care how comfortable they may be - I think they're stupid.


Help me, Internet - you're my only hope.




Later.

Cheap Therapy.

There's something cathartic about driving 120mph and slamming into a wall. The crunch of metal, the way time slows down as bits and pieces of the car twirl though the air, sunlight sparkling on the shattered glass.

There's nothing more relaxing then careening your car through the city, tearing through a gate, up a ramp, through a billboard - only to come down onto the road a twisted heap of metal.

And all of this for only $20.

I've had the demo of Burnout:Paradise on my 360 since the day I bought it - it was on there already, with a slew of others for me to whet my Next-Gen appetite. As I deleted them one by one, I've always kept Burnout, even though it only had 1 car and 1/10th of the city to roam in, just because it was fun.

So when I saw the game at Wally World for $20, I had to pick it up. More cars, more room, more chilling gruesome accidents to experience from the comfort of my couch. There's nothing better to ease the frustration of a long day than madcap driving through city streets, pulling wicked e-brakes and doing those nifty backwards-spin-around-180-drive-away things like Knight Rider used to do when I was but a young lad.

It's cheaper than drinking.
It's cheaper than weed.
It's cheaper than professional help. (Take that as you will - Hookers or Shrinks, they're both a rip off.)


Best $20 I ever spent.



Later.

Saturday at Wal-Mart.

If you want a soul-crushing experience, go to Wal-Mart.

As much as some may hate the Corporation itself, (much like The Arches) I find it's the people who shop there that depress me the most.

(I know that I'm including myself in the above group, but I like to think I'm a bit apart from them - I know I'm slumming, they haven't realized it yet.)

I understand why people shop at Wal-Mart - the prices. What I don't understand is why people act the way they do at Wal-Mart.

Today I witnessed people having no regard for the other customers in the store - blocking aisles, cutting lines, and just being generally ignorant to everyone around them. I saw more garbage from the McDonald's in the store spread around and lying in displays than I imagine I would have seen at the McD's, had I even gone in there. Watching people paw through merchandise like they were digging for gold - throwing it left and right - made the display-builder in me shudder.

I'm not sure what it is about Wal-Mart that brings out the worst in people - maybe they feel bad about shopping there, and take it out on the other people around them. Maybe they feel so insignificant in their own lives that they act rude and disrespectful to the only people they feel are beneath them - Wal-Mart employees. (We saw that a lot at The Arches - gas jockeys would talk shit to you because you're working the grill instead of their really cool job.)

If going to one place makes you become this ugly human being, why go there? To save 3 dollars?

As happy as I was with the purchases I made today, I left Wal-Mart feeling a little let down - not with Wal-Mart, but with the Human Race.

Shopping shouldn't make you sad.



Later.

Giving Up The Game.

I have to stop playing NHL 09.

Not by choice, mind you.

You see, the copy I have isn't really mine - it's the Sidekick's, and I've just been using it while he was away from his Xbox. Now that he is situated in The Big City, I have to give it back.

And therein lies my problem.

At first it wasn't a big deal, as I'd received a Futureshop gift card for Christmas, and was planning on getting the game with that when I returned the Sidekick's copy. (No problem, right?)

But then I spent the gift card on DVD's. Some in January, and the rest just the other day.
( I got this sweet deal on The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen & Ghostbusters 1&2 - how do you pass that up?)

So now I will be without my Hockey fix until Payday. And that seems like an eternity away.

You have to understand, this is a game that I play religiously. Every day, at least once. It's addictive. Giving this up cold turkey will be harder than quitting smoking and masturbating at the same time. (Impossible, right?)

So wish me luck.

I'm gonna need it.



Later.

$1.41/Litre will change my mind..

I used to think these guys were losers.





I used to think they were riding toys. (Toys for losers, in fact.)



Now I wonder how the mileage is, and if their insurance is cheap or not.....




Later.

Adverse Reflection.

I bought a pair of sunglasses yesterday, and there was one thing that really bothered me.

The mirrors that they put on the sunglass stand/turner-thing are similar to circus fun house mirrors. Depending on which mirror I looked into, I was either anorexia skinny or morbidly obese. Do I go with round frames to accent my sharp cheekbones, or do I get square to hide what looks like my fourth jowl?

They're also set a midget-height. (I'd say dwarf, but a dwarf might have to use a stool.) You almost have to bend in half to see your refection. I'd have better luck checking my shades on someone's chrome tailpipe.

With no help or thanks to the mirrors, I did end up purchasing some glasses. They even looked good when I got them home and checked them out in a real mirror. The Boys wanted me to buy them some too, but they already have some, and I wasn't about to get the youngest one the Spears-Lohan-Hilton type bug-eyed white ones he wanted so badly.

That'd be therapy for sure.




Later.

Teeing Up My Balls.

By the time you read this, I'll be on the links.

One of the Reps we deal with is taking me and a couple of guys out golfing at one of the swankier courses around here. Everything is included - carts, booze, dinner - you name it.

I like it when I get to go out like this. It allows me to play courses I wouldn't normally be able to afford. And anytime someone is feeding me free booze, it's a good thing.

So I'll have to change my previous statement:

By the time you read this, i'll be on the links, and hammered out of my mind.

There, that's better.

Wish me luck - I just might need it.



Later.

Bless You, uTorrent.

I just downloaded an entire album in less than nine minutes.

(Of course I own the psychical CD, and this is only a backup copy - fair use, right?) Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Talk about instant gratification.

If only life were as reliable as uTorrent - I would have had six-pack abs ages ago.



Later.