Telemarketjerk.

Got the most retarded phone call today, on behalf of the Conservative Party of Canada.

I pick up the phone, and immediately the guy launches into his spiel about the threat of an election in the fall, and that the Party now needs funds to get ready to fight the opposition.

(Why does the Conservative Party call me, you ask? Maybe I voted for them last time around - maybe because I didn't vote at all - or maybe I'm a middle-aged White Guy who's reported income falls in the right bracket...)

He tells me that if I just donate $200, I can get a $150 tax credit for my 2010 income taxes. ($200? Is he fucking nuts?) I politely told him that it's not fiscally possible for us to donate, and thanked him for his call.

Like a dog with a chew toy, he just wouldn't let go. He reminded me that I'd get 75% of my donation back when my taxes were done. At this point, I veered off into the realm of fabrication, and told him that I had recently lost my job, was on E.I., and times were tight trying to support the family.

This is when it got retarded.

He then tells me that they take credit cards, and that I could charge my donation, and potentially pay it back when I got my refund. (What kind of crack does this guy smoke before he logs in at the call centre?)

So just to get this straight - I tell him I'm unemployed, times are tight ,struggling to keep head above water, etc, and he advises me to go deeper in debt for a political donation. Sounds fucked? That's what I thought too.

I think that a huge part of the Government's problem, and those who work for them - is that they've lost touch with the opinions and efforts of average Canadians. Show me a Canadian who will go deeper in debt to fiance any political Party, and I'll show you one who deserves to be slapped upside the head with a shovel.


Later.

Right Now...

1. I'm in love/ addicted to Peanut Butter. My craving each morning for peanut butter on whole wheat toast is something that cannot be denied. Oh, you may try to tempt me with Almond or Cashew butter, but be ready for disappointment.
2. I'm typing on my laptop, drinking coffee, and updating my blog. The fact that I'm at home instead of Starbucks is the only thing preventing me from looking like a nerdy douchebag.
3. I'm listening to the Kings of Leon - which I know always makes the Sidekick happy - but it's their last "most commercial" album, so I know inside he's dying just a little.
4. I'm looking at the sunshine and wanting to go for a run - does it matter that I ran this morning? Not to me.
5. I'm debating (internally of course, I'd look the fool debating all by myself) on what to spend some Birthday monies on.
6. I'm realizing that nobody wins in an internal debate.
7. I believe that BP has taken over the mantle of Most Evil Company on Earth - and is ahead in the running for Most Incompetent as well.
8. I'd like to change my nametag at work to read "Most Evil Dairy Manager" - I'm sure I'd have to deal with less customers that way.

...but that's just how I feel right now.


Later.

38 and Change

Today is my 38th Birthday.

To tell you the truth, it feels just the same as the day before, and the one before that. The only thing that amazes me about it is that I don't feel 38. Hell, mentally, I'm surprised if I'd rate anywhere over 18.

When I was younger I always looked at people near or over 40 as responsible, serious, and...old. As I creep up on that age myself, I find it's just the opposite - I'm serious, all right, but I'll still do shots in the cab of a truck or dance until I can't stand anymore. I relate well with people who are both 10 years older and 10 years younger than me. (Maybe that's just my sunny disposition, but who knows?)

So when does this "old" age hit?
Not for a long fucking time, if I can help it.


Later.

Balance

Sometimes I don't feel like I have much to say about what's going on around me - okay, maybe not that I don't have anything to say, but that I just don't have the words to express what I think of it all- not like I used to.. I find that lately I take more pride in the things that I do than in the things that I think.

I find that I'd rather talk about how I crossed the 2000 mile marker with my Nike+, or how well I did against a kid who's twenty years younger than me, than to talk about what I think of some random encounter with some weirdo at work.

Is that a good thing? Maybe - maybe not.

This place was sure a lot more entertaining when there was more of the former than the later..



Later

Race Report, Part 2

Little bit more info on my Half, and then I swear I'll stop talking about it..

• My official time is 1:33:48.
• I placed 174th out of 6561.
• I placed 30th in my age group.
  
• I was the 153rd Male to cross the line - there are some fast women out there!

Surprisingly, I was faster on the last half of the run than I was on the first - I guess when I stopped thinking about where I was and just ran, I picked up speed. (Helps that after that motherfucking hill, gravity kicked in.)

I can't stress how nice the run was - I'm already thinking of doing this again next year, and maybe just keeping it as a Half always, and avoid the shitty winter Marathon training.

And maybe, if I give him enough warning and harp on him to drag his ass out and run - the Sidekick and I can run it together next year... (Not togethertogether, we're not like that - but run at the same time. I'd cruise over the finish line and then rest for a half hour or so until he caught up..)

Thanks Vancouver - I had a blast.


Later.

Race Report.

Today I finished the Vancover Half Marathon, and set a new personal best time: 1:33:50!

(I'll admit - pretty stoked..)

It was a great run - going through downtown Vancouver was spectacular, and Stanley Park was incredible...except for Prospect Point - which kicked my ass HARD. (Honestly, after that hill, I had resigned myself to a 1:40:ish time - you can imagine my surprise when I rounded the corner towards the finish line...)

As hard as the race was physically, I did have one emotional moment: We ran by the beaches along False Creek, and the last time I was there was when I went to see my Brother's name on the Vancouver Aids Memorial - I know Sonny would have been impressed. (He also would have called me an idiot for wearing shorts and running in the rain, but still..)

So now I'm going to take my tired legs and have a night out with the Sidekick - my feet took a pounding today, so why not my liver tonight?

Later.

Of Oyster and Updates.

Yes it's been ages since I've updated, so here's a quick rundown of life:

• I'm back in the OR. (For those of you not in the know, that's Oyster River, not Operating Room.) Little bit of culture shock again, but I'm sure I'll adjust. Plus: I go trail running on my lunch hour - it's a fun, scenic change from just pounding on the Seawalk.

• Did the Comox Valley Half Marathon - rocked over last year - Improved by 6 minutes, finishing in 1:37:00! I was 111th out of 602, and 13th in my age group. Next up - the Merville 15K - a shorter run, but that just means I can hopefully go faster - looking to beat my 10th place finish from last year.

• I kicked ass in the Weight Loss Competition at my gym - won in all 3 categories for men - pounds lost, inches lost, and body fat % lost. But since you can only win one prize, I only got one package. Still, nice to know I did well. (Woulda thunk I could hit 172pds?)

• The night out with the Sidekick in the Riv? Yes - it was as sweet, and as full of G&T, as you would imagine.

• Reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk - just finished Choke, Snuff, Fight Club, and Survivor. Also finished Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby and Up In The Air by Walter Kirn. Really enjoying reading out of my "comfort zone" if that makes any sense...

And really, next to all the running, working, and Home life, that's about it. It's not the most exciting, but it suits me, I guess.

Trust me, I'll post something pithy and funny soon - right now, I'm flashing back to the Trews, Foo, and City and Colour.. Being back in the OR will do that to ya.


Later.

Thank You, Vancouver.

• For being cheerful and fun while I was there. Keep this up, and that "No Fun City" label will disappear fast.
• For having a transit system that worked perfectly, and wasn't a pain in the ass to navigate.
• For cleaning up and shining - looking like a true International City.
• For having all those people in Blue Jackets around - who don't mind giving directions to a guy who's "got his buzz on".
• For a Tim Horton's, Starbucks, or other caffeinated beverage place available when I stopped drinking Gin.
• For being the Gateway to Poco, where the real party was.. hahaha.

I'll be back in a month, so don"t forget about me..



Later.

I Feel...

1. That with only two days left until I go to Van, I can't fucking wait.
2. That starting a new workout regime the day before I have to do a Long Run is a Very Bad Idea. (Sore Legs!)
3. That I could wear a Hockey Jersey to work every day and be quite happy.
4. That True Canadians won't jump off the Team Canada bandwagon quite yet - we're used to disappointment - this is a country that has the Habs and Maple Leafs, remember?
5. That even though I'm not a huge fan of the States, sometimes we Canadians come off as extremely bitter anytime we go up against the US in any Competition, like a loss to them results in the loss of our National Identity.
6. That it wasn't until the Olympics were hosted on home soil that most Canadians even realized we have a National Identity.
7. That there nothing hotter than a woman in a Hockey Jersey. (Unless that's all she's wearing, then"Yowza!")
8. That it says something about me when I get a patriotic lump in my chest from a Tim Horton's Commercial.
9. That the moment someone asks if I speak English, or jumps in the back of my car and demands I take them to the Airport, I'll give up tanning.
10. That's probably a lie - I'd be flattered and offer to show them my tan lines. (Consider yourself lucky I haven't posted them to the blog, I'm that proud..)

Later.

Olympic Fever.

I'm sick.

Sick in the sense that in one week I'll be over in the Big Smoke checking out the Olympics and hangin' with the Sidekick.

You see, I have tickets to 2 events over there that were given to me through work - Men's Hockey Quarterfinal's and Short Track Speed Skating - both events are on the 24th. I'm excited about the Hockey, of course (Center Ice seats in lower blues - how can I not be?), but the Speed Skating also looks to be interesting.

I'm going over with Baxy - a co-worker who I get along really well with- and he's just as excited as I am. We're going to head over early, enjoy the day and the events, and meet The Sidekick Downtown after the game - and knowing the 3 of us, I'm sure that's when the real party will start.

That's why I posted a picture of the Olympic mascots up there - The Sidekick's the Big Guy, Baxy"s the Small Guy, and I'm the one with the hat on who's waving - now just picture those three completely inebriated and having the time of their lives... Can you see why I'm excited now?

I've got the fever - I've got the chills.
Now I need the medicine, and a hot nurse too.

Van City won't be the same...hahaha.



Later.

SportFit.

Mondays and Thursdays are quickly becoming my favorite days of the week.

Those are the days that I go to SportFit.

SportFit is a program at The Sportsplex in town. I'd seen tons of people wearing SportFit jerseys and T-Shirts at the various races I run in, and they seem to do well - so it might just help me in my endeavors to hold back the passage of time. It's got a fairly harsh rep - when looking into it, I had heard lots of "It's hardcore." and "You'll be sore, it's too tough." - but I decided to bite the bullet and attend a class, just to see if I could cut it.

I love it.

The class starts out with an aerobic-type stretching session- we're kinda dancing to music, and just getting warmed up. (The whole class is set to music - it's God awful stuff, but whatever - I'm not there to hone my musical tastes.) after about 10 minutes of this, the The Run begins.

The Run is my favorite part of class. (Go figure.) The first couple of classes, I held back, just pacing in the middle of the pack, moving along with the group. Eventually, I realized that it's too slow back there and moved up to the front of the line where the pace picks up and you leave the stragglers in the dust. We usually average at least 4 miles in our 30 minutes of running.

After The Run, we immediately go back into the stretching, dancing thing for about another 10 minutes, and then get down to floor work.

Floor work varies from night to night - sometimes it's more abs-focused, sometimes, more legs. Tonight we did it all - upper-body, (push ups for ages) abs, and legs. By the end of that, I'm usually quivering in whatever body-part we've just finished pummeling. And then we do Yoga.

Now, the Yoga we do at SportFit isn't hardcore guru-style Yoga. Hell, the only reason I know it's Yoga at all is because I recognize some of the poses from Wii Fit. (Really, not kidding.) Stuff like Downward Dog, Tree and Warrior poses are mixed with stretches for hamstrings, calves, and core. It's right behind The Run as my favorite part just 'cause after it's done you feel so good. (Or maybe it's because class is over after that, so it could be either.)

I've been going twice a week for over a month now, and I really dig it - it's helped me pick up the pace on my short runs, and it's just nice to be around a bunch of people (there's about 40 in the class) who are interested and like doing the same things as me. (SportFit also has a Pub Night at The Willows every Thurs after class, but I haven't gone to that ...yet.)

I'm going to keep going - eventually I'll be able to put my head on my knees with straight legs... (Why I want to do that, I have no idea.. but a goal's a goal, right?) Wish me luck.



Later.

Super - Duper.

I have no idea where I found this or who made it - all I know is that I laughed my ass off.



And not to cast doubt on Spidey's abilites, but shouldn't he have prevented Abel's murder, or Jesus's crucifixion? I guess not, since he couldn't even save Uncle Ben. (Ooh - low blow!)

Later.

I Fear No Scale.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day.

Yes, boys and girls - I've signed up for yet another weigh-loss/ fitness contest at my gym.

Call me crazy, stupid, or insane, but I think I can do well in this one too. (Brief History Lesson: Won the first one I ever went in - lost 42 ponds - Won body fat% lost in 2nd contest - 5.2%)

So Why not try again?

It coincides nicely with my plans for this time of year:

• Training for the Vancouver Marathon.
• Running in the Merville 15K & Comox Half again.
• Keeping my svelte figure. Hahaha

It's not that I have a ton of weight to lose - I know I'm probably going to drop 10 pounds just between now and May with the training, but I also want to work more on my legs and core than I did for the last run - which should help me close the gap and get closer to qualifying for Boston. (Every runner's wet dream)

I find that being involved in something like a simple contest keeps me on-track (Nutritionally wise) for the duration of the training. (Point in fact: So dying for a Peanut Butter Sandwich or two right now..but I'm being strong..)

Having my name and progress posted on a public board where people I know can see and check out really helps. If I don't make progress, everyone in the gym will bug the shit out of me.

I might even post some of my stats here, just for the hell of it - hey, at least I'd be blogging something, right?

I'd say wish me luck - but I think I'm going to be okay on this one... at least for the first week.


Later.

T.V. Gold.

As a child of the 80's, I would have watched the fuck out of this if it was a weekly T.V Show.




How sweet is that?


Later.

Stay of Execution.

Considering that since Christmas, the kids have been playing Lego Batman and Lego Indiana Jones non-stop, just the sight if this comic made me laugh my ass off.

This guy's stuff is hilarious - check it out.


Later.

Resolve

Okay 2010, here's what I'm hoping to do this year:

• Blog more - going a month between posts kinda defeats the purpose, don'tcha think?
• Run more - I have 2 Marathons planned this year, May and October - training starts tomorrow, so this one will be easy to keep.
• Save - I don't know for what, but you have to save for something.
• Read Better - rather than re-reading my bookshelf over and over, I'd like to branch out into some newer territories.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

Kinda describes me, right?


Later.

Someone Save My Baby!

Forgive me if I ramble - I'm a little distraught.

My youngest has been stricken down in his prime - and I'm having trouble dealing with it.

I stop at home on the way to the gym at lunch yesterday, and my wife tells me there's something wrong with Sammy. His full name is Samsung Hp-t4264, but I call him Sammy. (For Sammy Davis Jr, another wonderful black entertainer.) Sammy just shut off and instead of turning on, just makes a "click click" sound.

I immediately started revival procedures - I unplugged him and let him cool down. (Sammy usually did run a bit hot - it's his passion for the cinema that burns inside him.) When I got home after work, and all Sammy did was make that soul-crushing noise, I knew I had to seek professional help.

So this morning I bundled Sammy up in the blanket we brought him home in, snuggled him into the car, and drove him to Comox, where the nearest specialist is. I won't lie, a single tear rolled down my cheek when I left Sammy with the "Technician" (or whatever they call their Doctors.)

They'll let me know by Friday how much it'll cost to "fix" Sammy. I said money wasn't an object - the wife disagreed and said that $300 is the limit she's willing to go. (I don't understand - we've only had Tristan for 18 months longer than we've had Sammy - yet I know she'd pay more if something went wrong with him.)

So I'll wait by the phone until I hear from them - hoping and praying that Sammy will be okay. I can't even look at the spot where he used to be - his 21-inch cousin "Citizen" sits there now - but it isn't the same.


Come back to me Sammy - step away from the light.





Later.

Tattoo Goo.

Yeah - that's my leg.

You can tell by the muscular definition in the calf...and the freckles.

So I just got it done today, and it was an excellent experience. My last Tat was done when I was 19-20, so it's been a while since I've been in a shop. But completing my first marathon deserved something, and I think this was it.

My plan now, for future runs, is to put a small mark of some sort - ( a runner or if I want to sell out - a nike swoosh) under my time for each other marathon I run. Considering I'm doing 2 next year, I think the leg will be seeing some work.

Excuse the shitty, bleeding look to the pic.. remember - it's fresh.

Would ya believe I'm already contemplating my next one? Tattoos are almost as addictive as running. (Almost.) Thank God I'm in control of my addictions.. (Those of you who know me can start laughing now.)


Later.

Made me Laugh.

Saw this today and it made me chuckle.

"Use the Loofah..." Hahahah.



So I guess if you're and exhibitionist, Shiny Suds is for you...


Later

Station Identification.

Just so the world doesn't think I've died, I thought I'd update.

A lot has happened since I last wrote anything down here.

Most importantly, I lost my Father-in-Law - he was a great man and I was saddened by his loss and honored to be chosen to give the eulogy at his service. Trust me, I'm a talker, and getting up in front of those 350 people was both humbling and terror-inducing. From all accounts afterward, I did a good job , and everyone said he would have been pleased.

The two weeks preceding, I was single-dadding it - with all that had happened, my wife stayed with her mother, and even though it's on the same town, I didn't see her at all for 14 days. Juggling the kids and my OCD complex with the house was a challenge but I did it.

And if you think I got a lot of runs in, you're dreaming - check my Twitter - I haven't done much at all. Thank God it doesn't show yet, but I'm just glad to get back to the routine so I can get my shoes back on and just get out there. I'm still planning on Vancouver in May, and Vic again in October - with the Comox Half , Merville 15K, and any other run I can scrounge thrown in there. You have no clue how bad I'm aching for a 10 miler.. does that make me crazy?

Coming up, I have the Sidekick in town soon, and we're going to see the Trews at the Tidemark on the 23rd. (Yes, he's explained how coming to the sticks to see a concert is completly wrong, but he's still coming..)

And in 2 weeks and 2 days, I get my Tattoo. Totally looking forward to it.

Well you've been topped up with the meat and potatoes of my life - and yes, there's tons I'm not telling - but that's probably another post at another time.

Trust me, I'll be back.
(You can't keep a good man down - so a guy like me can only be kept down about 75% of the time.)


Later.