I Feel:

That my ability to hold back from punching ignorant, rude, and stinky people is the hallmark of my career in customer service.

That the main reason I don't is because these hands are made for lovin', not fightin'.

That in order to balance out workouts, housework, work, the things I want to read and write, and have an actual sleep schedule, I'm going to need the day to be extended by about 6 hours.

That with starting my Half-Marathon training, I've become reacquainted with my old Nemesis, chafing. Someone start praying for my thighs.

That the weather phenomenon known as a "Pineapple Express" is shittier than the movie of the same name, and lazier than James Franco's eye. Enough with the rain already - can't it just be Spring all the time?

That watching The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King on television instead of DVD is an exercise in couch sitting of world-record proportions.  I almost made it too, but I couldn't sit and watch the homo-eroticism of Hobbits jumping on a bed at the end. Halfway through that movie, I just wanted Sam and Frodo to get a room already. I'm not one to judge, but I don't want to watch.

 That with the fact that I'm either fiercely hot or freezing cold, I'm starting to wonder if there is such a thing as Male Menopause, or maybe God's just fucking with me.

That if we're being Honest, the only reason anyone would go to the Winter Classic is for the spectacle of it all - because really, those seats would be shitty for watching hockey.

That my deisre to go home and workout is going to have to compete with my desire to go home and sleep. Pillow versus weights: let's see who wins.

That unless I try really hard, I can never make it to 10 on these....

Later.

Write Off.

Possibly more energetic than I was today.

Today is a write off.

Sure, I got up at 7am with the Wife when she went to work, and I even did a workout with some of the stuff I got for Christmas. Coffee was involved too.

After that, the day went downhill.

You know those people who spend January 1st taking down all the Christmas Decorations, reorganizing the house, and getting everything straightened away to start the New Year?

Yeah - not me, not today.

The Boys and I played some games that they got for Christmas (I have the steady hand for Operation), but it was pretty much just a do-what-ya-like kinda day. Books were read, hockey was played, and I was even tempted to take a nap while they were watching a movie. (I may or may not have dozed off for a couple of minutes - it's all kinda fuzzy.)

It's not like we were up terribly late for New Years - pretty sure we hit the sack by 1am at the latest - but I'm just bagged today. Seeing people doing inspired work like this makes me feel incredibly lazy, and I have sworn that tomorrow is going to be Accomplishment Day - believe me, shit will get done.

 I'm off to watch a movie now, and then possibly hit the sack.

All this doing nothing has me feeling sleepy.






Later.

Of Oyster and Updates.

Yes it's been ages since I've updated, so here's a quick rundown of life:

• I'm back in the OR. (For those of you not in the know, that's Oyster River, not Operating Room.) Little bit of culture shock again, but I'm sure I'll adjust. Plus: I go trail running on my lunch hour - it's a fun, scenic change from just pounding on the Seawalk.

• Did the Comox Valley Half Marathon - rocked over last year - Improved by 6 minutes, finishing in 1:37:00! I was 111th out of 602, and 13th in my age group. Next up - the Merville 15K - a shorter run, but that just means I can hopefully go faster - looking to beat my 10th place finish from last year.

• I kicked ass in the Weight Loss Competition at my gym - won in all 3 categories for men - pounds lost, inches lost, and body fat % lost. But since you can only win one prize, I only got one package. Still, nice to know I did well. (Woulda thunk I could hit 172pds?)

• The night out with the Sidekick in the Riv? Yes - it was as sweet, and as full of G&T, as you would imagine.

• Reading a lot of Chuck Palahniuk - just finished Choke, Snuff, Fight Club, and Survivor. Also finished Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby and Up In The Air by Walter Kirn. Really enjoying reading out of my "comfort zone" if that makes any sense...

And really, next to all the running, working, and Home life, that's about it. It's not the most exciting, but it suits me, I guess.

Trust me, I'll post something pithy and funny soon - right now, I'm flashing back to the Trews, Foo, and City and Colour.. Being back in the OR will do that to ya.


Later.

Super - Duper.

I have no idea where I found this or who made it - all I know is that I laughed my ass off.



And not to cast doubt on Spidey's abilites, but shouldn't he have prevented Abel's murder, or Jesus's crucifixion? I guess not, since he couldn't even save Uncle Ben. (Ooh - low blow!)

Later.

T.V. Gold.

As a child of the 80's, I would have watched the fuck out of this if it was a weekly T.V Show.




How sweet is that?


Later.

Stay of Execution.

Considering that since Christmas, the kids have been playing Lego Batman and Lego Indiana Jones non-stop, just the sight if this comic made me laugh my ass off.

This guy's stuff is hilarious - check it out.


Later.

Station Identification.

Just so the world doesn't think I've died, I thought I'd update.

A lot has happened since I last wrote anything down here.

Most importantly, I lost my Father-in-Law - he was a great man and I was saddened by his loss and honored to be chosen to give the eulogy at his service. Trust me, I'm a talker, and getting up in front of those 350 people was both humbling and terror-inducing. From all accounts afterward, I did a good job , and everyone said he would have been pleased.

The two weeks preceding, I was single-dadding it - with all that had happened, my wife stayed with her mother, and even though it's on the same town, I didn't see her at all for 14 days. Juggling the kids and my OCD complex with the house was a challenge but I did it.

And if you think I got a lot of runs in, you're dreaming - check my Twitter - I haven't done much at all. Thank God it doesn't show yet, but I'm just glad to get back to the routine so I can get my shoes back on and just get out there. I'm still planning on Vancouver in May, and Vic again in October - with the Comox Half , Merville 15K, and any other run I can scrounge thrown in there. You have no clue how bad I'm aching for a 10 miler.. does that make me crazy?

Coming up, I have the Sidekick in town soon, and we're going to see the Trews at the Tidemark on the 23rd. (Yes, he's explained how coming to the sticks to see a concert is completly wrong, but he's still coming..)

And in 2 weeks and 2 days, I get my Tattoo. Totally looking forward to it.

Well you've been topped up with the meat and potatoes of my life - and yes, there's tons I'm not telling - but that's probably another post at another time.

Trust me, I'll be back.
(You can't keep a good man down - so a guy like me can only be kept down about 75% of the time.)


Later.

The Inconsistent Blogger.

An Anonymous source has said that Micro-Blogging via Twitter isn't nearly as interesting as Blog posts.

And they couldn't be more right.

Trying to tell an interesting story via Twitter is like someone trying to write Fight Club via Facebook status updates. ("I am Jack's Wall - help me in Farmtown")

So then what's the deal with the lack of posting, you ask?

Just plain laziness and the inability to tell a story. Oh, I can talk a story - trust me. Nobody bullshits better than me. But trying to find something that I want to say and than making the time to say it seem to be my downfall right now.

I think I'll try and change that.

I do miss this place. It used to be my refuge,my place to shout out into the darkness and see what echoed back.

But after such neglect, if I shout is there anyone there to listen?
If you Blog and there's no one to read it, is it really a post?
Welcome to my digital tree - I'm going to chop it down and see if it makes a sound.

Later.

I Feel:

• That there's no excuse for prompt, punctual updates.
• That the previous statement makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world.
• That if you exclude the concert, the drinking, and the time spent with the Sidekick, I didn't get to spend enough time in Vancouver.
• That Twitter is both a boon, a distraction, and an addiction.
• That running 18 miles was the most rewarding solo effort I've done so far.
• That masturbation, although rewarding, can't be included in that declaration.
• That for the first time ever, I doubt my ability in regards to running.
• That looking up random music videos on You Tube is both cathartic and frustrating.
• That work,being work, is work- but sometimes doesn't feel much like work.
• That my inability to let go of a song will be my downfall.
• That reading Love Monkey was almost as good as reading High Fidelity.
• That I have to re-read some Tom Robbins.

Later.

Maintenance is Key.

I have high standards when it comes to my DVDs.

Maybe not in what I watch, (ask the Sidekick, and he'll say my copy of The Princess Bride proves that) but in how I take care of what I have.

So it drives me nuts when I see people treat their DVDs like shit.

I had a guy at work lend me Wild Hogs. (Not my choice, but the Wife liked it.) He brought the disc in for me and when he handed me the case I was appalled.

The outer case was scuffed, the cover slide was ripped, and it still had the price tag on it. It may sound trivial, but I don't need to know that he paid $24.95 for Wild Hogs - if he did, he needs to get a refund. I was almost terrified to open the case and see the disc.- I figured it would look like cats played hacky-sack with it.

I just don't understand how people can treat their stuff like that, especially if they are willing to lend it out to other people. Bad enough that you're going to get judged on your viewing choices - but to hand out beat up, badly treated stuff? It just tells me you can't take care of your shit.

And if you don't take care of your stuff, why would the people you lend it to bother to take care of it? They know you don't give a shit, so why should they? When I hand someone an immaculate disc in packaging that looks like I bought it yesterday, that's how I expect to receive it back.

Do I go overboard? Probably. But to present my things, and by extension, myself as uncared and unkempt is just unacceptable to me.

I'm going to end it at that.
I gotta go dust my collection anyways.


Later.

All In One Shot..

I bet everyone thought I forgot about this place. Hard to believe I used to bitch at the Sidekick for posting so haphazardly, and then I become almost as bad as him.

I've come to realize that some days there just isn't enough time to juggle everything. Between work, the Kids, family/social obligations and running, by the time I do sit down in front of the monitor, I'm wiped and unable to focus a coherent thought - unless you want to hear about my latest run or maybe the annoyance of Ball Sweat.

I also feel that sometimes I just don't care enough to comment. Do I have thoughts on Michael Jackson's death? Sure I do, and they are probably the same as every other guy my age: Micheal Jackson died years ago, halfway through recording Bad, and was replaced by a pasty white guy I don't know anymore. Why bother commenting on something that everyone is sick of hearing about anyway?

I'd talk about Hockey, but it's no fun making cracks about the Leafs when my Avs are acting like all the high-level decisions are being made by Corky from Life Goes On, and he's using a dartboard with suggestions from Mike Millbury pinned to it.

Ranting about the economy doesn't do any good: I'm still poor. Bitching about the shitty drivers in Campbell River doesn't work - if they can't read road signs or speed limits, they aren't reading this blog. Plus, on the days it's too hot, I just can't get worked up about the little things like the elections in Iran or Obama smacking a fly and pissing off PETA.

I swear to God (like he/she is listening) I'm gonna post more. But think of me more like a posting Ninja: you're not sure when I'll strike, but when I do, you'll know.


Later.

I Feel:

1. That I just don't sit in front of the monitor that much anymore.
   
2. That being told I look like Edward Norton isn't such a bad thing. (At least they didn't say fat Edward Norton.)
3. That being told someone from your company is going to run with the Olympic Torch, but it isn't going to be you, sucks.
4. That having a Full House and losing out to a higher Full House on the river sucks almost as much as not running with the torch.
5. That after a massive Crossfit workout yesterday, riding the Quad with the Boys last night, and running 7.5 miles this morning, my legs feel pretty good. I can't get up from the chair, but they do feel good.
6. That my son talking to me about Ben10 all the time is just payback for me talking to my Dad about The A-Team when I was 6. ("And then B.A. drank the milk and Murdoch got him on the plane.")
7. That some days I just want coffee pumped into my system intravenously, so I don't have to wait for the caffeine to kick in.
8. That some days it only takes 15 seconds for my kids to go from normal to batshit-crazy.
9. That they must get that from their Mom. (ha - she'll kill me if she reads this.)
10. That it must be disappointing to not see an update for 5 days and then come back to an "I Feel" list...

Later.

Man of Many Marinades.

With the summer season in full swing, I've gone to almost exclusively cooking outdoors every chance I get.

I'm a huge fan of marinades, and use them as much as I can. I like to prepare stuff in advance, so being able to whip together a marinade for whatever's hitting the grill the next night is a bonus. I've also found that having the meat sit in the marinade overnight in the chill-chest helps tenderize and add even more flavor throughout.

Do I follow a recipe? Not really - I treat marinades like I treat sex - some experimentation, throw in whatever you can, mix it up, and always check for flavor. Although I do use some standard ingredients, I can vary some of the complimentary flavors depending if I want heat or sweetness - or just go with ones that accentuate the flavor of whatever we're having.

Just typing that made me hungry - and it's almost time to fire up the grill..Mmmm


Later.

Moment of Zen.

Sometimes when I run, I use the time to sort things out in my head: thoughts, things I have to do, why yellow cars piss me off so much - you know, everyday bullshit.

But lately, my mind just goes blank - total nothing. All I hear is the sound of my breathing and my feet hitting the ground. I look at what's around me, but I don't think of anything pass that.

It's almost refreshing, but also disconcerting - I don't want to be a running zombie, shuffling my ass along the road - I liked being able to organize and catalog my thoughts. Made the run seem a bit more productive.

I think I'll make a mental note to try and multitask - focus on running and thinking at the same time. (I can walk and chew gum, so why not, eh?)

My only fear is that maybe I'm just about to reach Enlightenment - do I really want to miss out on that?

Whatever - I'll work it out as I run.



Later.

Twitterpatied

If you'll look to your right, you'll notice that I've recently started using Twitter, and stuck it in my blog.

Yes, it's a blatant ripoff from another blog I read. (Didn't someone say imitation is the highest form of flattery?)

With the new phone making texting easier, I thought I'd give it a go. There was no point in doing it before - I'd waste so much time on each entry on my ol'school phone that I'd be doing nothing but typing about how sore my thumbs are.

I think Twitter is better suited to my style of humor. I'm all about the quick line and ready quip. If the Sidekick and I could link Twitter accounts, you know there would be some wicked witty banter going on - the Internet would fall before the onslaught of Kevin Smith quotes.

(Sad, really.)

So if you do check back and I haven't posted, look over there - I just might have something Twitty to say.



Later.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.

Holy shit - I've really let this place go.

For it to be the 23rd and I've only done 7 posts? It's almost like I've developed blogging habits similar to the Sidekick's. I better pick up my socks.

My reasons for not posting aren't that hard to understand - life tends to catch up to you every once in a while, and certain things tend to fall by the wayside. I have to admit, when I look at spending my time, lately I've chosen going for a run or to the gym over blogging.

And notice my mention of the Sidekick - he's yet another reason for my lack of online activity. Picking his sorry ass up from the ferry at 12:45am and then driving an hour and a half back home, combined with the beers until 1am the next night and poker until midnight on the third evening, made for a span of days where I barely glanced at a monitor - and I'm happier for it.

(Memo to Sidekick: Rickard's White? Excellent beer. The amount we drank that night? Not so good. But fuck it - I had a blast.)

But everything in life is cyclical, isn't it? So no worry, my friends - soon will be the days of multiposts and rambling stories - as soon as I sit my ass down.


Later.

Curse The Radio.

I curse public radio.

I curse the radio in general, be it at the gym, the car, or at work.

Why?

Because it got this song stuck in my head. The Fucking Jonas Brothers






And that's just unfair.
Catchy, lighthearted pop, but unfair nonetheless.

Now I have to scrub my brain with some hardcore Death Metal. (That's the audio equivalent of an SOS pad, right?)


Later.

I Feel:

1. That swallowing a bug while you're running, albeit a fine way of ingesting protein, isn't a pleasurable experience anytime.
2. That when I decide, on a hot and sunny day, to run a winding 5-mile loop on lonely roads instead of on the Seawalk full of women in their summer best, I'll need help.
3. That I need help.
4. That the worst thing in the world isn't being at work on a gorgeous, sunny day - it's all the fucking people coming in, telling you exactly how awesome it is outside.
5. That it's a bad thing that I thought that Bea Arthur and Dom De Luise were already dead, and thus was doubly shocked to hear of their deaths.
6. That Star Trek was a fucking awesome movie. And that's not just my inner geek nerd-gasming, either.
7. That having the lady walking behind me jokingly grab my ass as we're leaving the theater was a little bit disconcerting.
8. That I can understand her desire to do so. I'll admit, for a guy, I've got a great ass.
9. That watching playoff hockey when your team isn't involved is like having sex in a raincoat.
10. That, yeah - that didn't make sense to me either.

Later.

I Feel:

1. That nothing beats running outside. The gym is nice; but the sun in the sky, the wind in your face, and women honking as they drive by just can't be beat.
2. That with the gym and the tanning, I'm never gonna get tired of hearing "Hey, you look skinny and dark now."
3. That with 28 days until my 37th birthday, it's ironic that I'm in better shape than when I was 26.
4. That as shameful as it is to admit, watching Boomer Phillips on Video on Trial can sometimes be the comedic highlight of my day.
5. That the Sidekick being so far away kinda sucks - not having a go-to coffee buddy really blows. (And I'm not just saying that 'cause he sent me an uber-gay text message.)
6. That with the pathetic performance by my Avalanche this year, the Sidekick's going to get He's Just Not That Into You and The Princess Bride as his DVD rewards. (Hey - the bet was two DVDs, not which two DVDs. Hahahaha.)
7. That being insanely jealous of everyone I see who has a new cellphone isn't really bad - it just means that I'll have to deliberately break my piece of shit phone (opps!) to get a new one.
   
8. That playing in the park with the kids, as fun as it is, can be both the most uplifting and yet most aggravating experience of a lifetime.
   
9. That as soon as I cross 1000 miles, I'm getting this shirt. Seeing as I'm only 330 miles away, I should have it by August for sure.
10. That once again, I leave you hanging with number 10.....

Later.

Herd Mentality.

Please take the time to watch the following Video and then ask yourself one question:




Don't you think it's ironic that at a party that's "Celebrating Originality", everyone is wearing the same brand of clothes?

Did the guys at the marketing meeting not somehow see this?

And would I have been ostracized if I showed up wearing my Reebok's?
(They are pretty sweet shoes, yo.)


Later.