Dirty Songs Make Me Laugh

I've always wanted to rhyme "hootchie" with "cootchie".

Really, what else does a song need?

This song speaks to the 17-year old boy that lives deep within my soul.




Later.

The One Test You Can't Study For..

Tonight at work, I sold a 17 yr old boy a home Pregnancy Test.

He was nervous, wild-eyed and visibly shaken.

As I handed him the bag with his receipt, I said "Hope it works out for you, brother."

The "Uh-huh" and blank stare I got back told me everything I needed to know about his hoped-for results.

Tough break.


Should have sold him a box of condoms, just so he won't have to be back again.



Later.

Post #2 - Fucking Hilarious.

This Ad cracks me up.



It's the squeaking that makes it.

Oh God, ..the squeaking.

Someone needs some lube.



Later.

Exceptions To The Rule.

The other day at work, one of the guys made this general statement about women:

"All girls look better with a cock in their mouth."

(I'm not telling you who it was - it's not really important.)

I do, however, disagree. (Respectfully, of course - am I ever anything but respectful?)

The following are my exceptions to his rule.

1. Queen Elizabeth
2. Janet Reno
3. Rosie O Donnell (I'm not sure if there has ever been one in there, but still...)
4. Kathy Bates
5. My Mom (This also includes any female member of my family - even the "Hot Second Cousin" should there ever be one.)

I think that almost covers it. I'm sure there are others, but I only have so much time. Now while some of these ladies are well within my co-workers standards, I'm just putting this out there as a guide to where he should draw the line. Whether or not he chooses to heed such advice is beyond my control.




Later.

It's Not A Race...

Just because I'm posting this hilarious video does not mean I know anything about, nor have anything in common with said topic. (So don't go reading anything into this.)



I'm glad he covered thinking about baseball, but Kathy Bates? Ewwww.... That's just too much.




Later.

Firing Up My Controller.

I'm totally thinking about getting back into Guitar Hero again.




For some reason, I just feel compelled to grab my axe and rock out with my cock out.
(Too many metaphors, right? - I thought so.)




Later

Lee Meriweather Was A Stone Cold Fox.

I just watched Batman: The Movie with The Boys the other night. It's good camp, they love it, and where else are you going to hear the line: " Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb."

I must admit, though - I have a new appreciation for Lee Meriweather. That woman was a total package. I think I prefer her as "Miss Kitka" the Russian journalist, but she does fill out the Catwoman suit quite nicely.

I think The Boys and I were appreciating that movie on two different levels, that's for sure.


Later.

Ink'd

I have a fascination with women who have tattoos.

I'll be honest - I think it's hot.

Forget the Tramp Stamp ones, they are a dime a dozen. I'm talking about the girls who have something different, not just some random tribal thing slapped above their ass. (Not that there's anything really wrong with that..)

I like to think the woman who has a tattoo is showing a bit of an edgier side, something that breaks away from the pack, but still stays within the realm of the "normal" people. Thank God for the rise in popularity and acceptance of women with tats - it makes my life much more pleasurable. (While I'm at it, I'd like to thank God for summer time and the clothing (and lack of said clothing) that goes with it.

Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, as there are some women and some tattoos that I find downright disgusting, but when done right and displayed accordingly, there is nothing sexier than ink on skin.


Later.

Click, Click, Clit.

Want to have a song that plays on the radio 5 times in eight hours?

Want to have a video that racks up over a million views? (Seriously, there's three or four postings on YouTube with about a million views each.)

All you have to do is be female, hot, talented, and sing about kissing another girl.



I didn't even need the video and I was hooked.

Now does this make me more or less of a man? (I vote more, due to the raging testosterone sapping my will to avoid shitty music.)

I can't help myself - it's genetics.



Later.

I Gotta Get In There.

So I'm at work yesterday, slaving away down an aisle, and I hear a commercial come on over the radio.

Now, normally I ignore the radio as much as possible, but when I hear the words "erotic toys" and "lingerie" thrown around, I pay attention.

It was a commercial for a boutique in Courtneay, and the whole reason I'm writing about it isn't because they were having a half price sale on vibrators, (They aren't) but because of the tagline they used at the end of the commercial.

You know what a tagline is, right? If not, I'm not going to explain it for you - that's what Wikipedia is for.

So what caught my attention? What was the tagline that made me laugh for about five minutes after hearing it? What could possibly be the best advertising slogan ever for an erotic boutique?

Secret Drawers: Please come inside us. (Sung in that perky, sing-song commercial voice)

Is that not the greatest thing ever?

Bravo, marketing people, bravo! I want to go there just based on that - forget what they sell. Anyone with a grasp of the double-entedre like that is someone I have to meet.

But don't worry - if I see a cheap vibrator, I'll pick one up for ya.




Later.