Call Me Petty, But...

Nothing makes me feel better than winning at Poker.

Except taking chips from a real dick, that is.

When I got home tonight, the Wife was playing in an online tournament - she was doing okay, but there was this guy at the table who she said was being a real dick. She got fed up playing and asked if I wanted to finish the game.

I jumped in, and within five minutes had this guy totally pissed at me. Normally I don't say much in chat, but I started lipping this guy off every spare moment. His best comeback was to take shots at my Mom, and that shit hasn't bothered me since grade school.

Cut to ten minutes later when I say he's got no balls and he goes all in with 7/8 offsuit - of course I have pocket Jacks. Bye-bye, loser.

Although it felt good, it takes me back to that old adage:

Winning an argument on the Internet is like winning Gold at the Special Olympics, even if you win you are still a retard!

Welp, call me retarded, then.



Later.

10 Things I Learned About Vancouver.

So I'm back from Vancouver, and now that the Hangover has settled down, I'd like to share some things I learned from my little trip...

1. In the downtown core, you can pass a coffee shop every 16 feet, but trying to find a place to buy offsales is nigh-impossible. (It's do-able, but you have to work at it.)
   
2. The bus ride from the ferry to downtown is shorter if you chug 4 beer just before you leave the boat. (Who cares if it's 9am?)
3. If your bladder is bursting from the beer, the Hotel Vancouver has the swankest public washrooms out there.
4. Convincing your waitress at the Library Square Pub to not light the candle at the table is harder than it seems. (If two guys are sitting together, isn't the candle-lit dinner kinda gay?) However, the yam fries and beer were worth the hassle.
5. If you go to a Canucks game, Club seats are the way to go. Sure it's $18 for two beer, but they bring them to your seat!
6. Going to a crowded bar (The Roxy) in Vancouver is just like going to a crowded bar in Campbell River.(Except there's less flannel in Vancouver, and the urine stench is slightly less.)
   
7. Skytrain? Cool to ride. Skytrain at 1:30am, singing with a bunch of Brazilians? Priceless.
8. Driving to the Ferry from Port Coquitlam is probably more bearable when you aren't a steaming pile of hangover, but it still sucks shit.
9. My Weekly $10 buy-in Poker game is nothing compared to the stacks of chips I saw being moved around at the Edgewater's Poker Tables. If I'm feeling ballsy I'll give it a try.
   
10. I can't wait to go back - December 20th won't come fast enough.

So next to having to be at work the next evening, (Still hung) it was a great trip - I had a blast with the Sidekick. As I said before, I can't wait to go again - although I think I'll pace myself a bit better. (Maybe just 2 beer before 9am.)

We'll see how that goes.



Later.

No Time

It's Poker Night, I just got home from work, and people will be here in 20 minutes.


You're not really expecting a post, are you?


I didn't think so.


Thanks - I'll make it up, I swear.



Later.

Dr. Tran, Again.

Because I have Poker tonight, you get to enjoy the magic of Dr. Tran once more.

Although not as funny as my previous posting, this one did cause me to shoot milk out my nose.

Enjoy.





Wish me luck with the cards tonight.



Later.