Showing posts with label Back of the Alleys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Back of the Alleys. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ass Crack Heaven.

What do most bowlers have against belts?

Last night was a nightmare.

I was at bowling, (cool, I know) and for some reason, everywhere I turned, there was man-ass hanging out. I'm not talking good lookling man-ass either - this shit was like a bad acid trip.

I swear to God one guy had so much hair I thought he had his sweater tucked in his pants.

It was like some kind of natural disaster - you just stared at it in horror.

The weird thing is all these ass-crackers are also the guys who do the big, sweeping throws with lots of leg movement - by the end of the swing, their belly's hanging out the front, and they're giving the vertical smile to everyone behind them.

I had no appetite at all last night. I didn't think I'd be able to hold anything down.

I'd like to get all these guys on one team - (and hopefully they would be sponsored by a belt & suspender company) that way I only have to see them once every ten weeks - I could at least prepare, or better yet, sit that week out.

Next to that, there's not much I can do.

Next week I'm going to try blinders - hopefully that will prevent some of the peripheral ass-cleavage from making me ill.

Wish me luck.


Later.

Monday, September 29, 2008

"More Machine Than Man."


So I just got back from Bowling tonight. (I did well, thankyouverymuch - over average on all three games.)

There's a guy on my team ( the guy who I subbed for last week) who bowls with one of the contraptions on the right strapped to his arm. What it's supposed to do is allow you to get extra spin on the ball, and a bigger impact at the other end of the lanes.

It doesn't do that when he uses it. (No wonder the guys were so happy to have me subbing for him last week - he sucks.) I don't know what he's trying to do with it, but it's not even close to it's intended purpose.

I'm also trying to ignore the fact that it looks like some sort of kinky sex toy - the bulbous tip has me a bit worried, as a matter of fact. I don't want to judge a guy by the equipment he uses, but if he can't bowl with it, what does he have it for? (Maybe the whole bowling thing is just a cover for his deviant fetishes.)

I'd just like to point out that I score 40 pins average higher than him per game - and my equipment is all natural.

Take that, Robocop.




Later.